This is a guide I’ve been working on for quite a few months now, and while I was going to wait until I had edited it further, added pictures, and compiled it into a printable format, I am presently facing imminent homelessness once again and so at the moment I have to attend to personal matters. That said, I do feel that the information presented here is important to have out there, so I’m posting what I have so far, and I will likely come back to this later. I am also asking that if you have any strong opinions about why this information is dangerous, or that I am “enabling” cutting, that you please don’t harass me about this. I’m dealing with enough as it is at the moment, and I don’t need people trying to shame those of us who practice self-injury on here. If you have any technical corrections though, feel free to let me know, and I will be sure to make what changes I can in the next version.
I wrote the following essay as a response to recent media coverage and interpersonal discourse around the string of mass shootings that took place over the summer. There has been an overwhelming lack of perspective from neurovariant people’s and people with psychiatric disabilities’ viewpoints, and I hope to address some of the issues I see personally and to bridge that gap at least a little.
I wrote this as a submission for Catharsis: Trans Women’s Stories of Sexual Violence, which is a wonderful project that I am so happy is being put together. This piece is a personal narrative about my rape, followed by an analysis of my experiences with recovery and support highlighting the difficulties as a trans woman, as neurovariant, and as having psychiatric disabilities. A lot of it is very personal, and difficult to read (and trust me, even more difficult to write), but I feel it is important to share nonetheless. For those who wish to read the analysis half, but not the personal narrative (which is where the majority of the triggering material is), it is under section II.
TRIGGER WARNING: The following contains graphic descriptions of sexual violence, drug use, and transphobia. There is also brief mention of self-harm (specifically, cutting).